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The Deep Abyss Life Ride

Drowning in the sea in a deep abyss
White caps and rough waves clashing around me
Reaching high trying to save myself from the whirlpools pulling in the currents beneath
Trying to tech a climb where I can maintain a balance of safety
Being continually sucked in where I don’t belong
Not trying to be where I am within this deep abyss sucking me down
Living on thin line in danger and chance
Where I have never chosen or faced heading that path
Being sucked deeper into deeper darker holes unable to escape the deep waters and rough seas sucking me down
Into rough treacherous waters and dark unknowns where fear runs my inner emotion over all emotions within reach and near
In the night shreaks and screams filling the air as torture can be heard drifting with the winds by my ear
Life overwhelming and has lost control
Water drops on my face that I can’t even tell if of the rough seas or my very own cried tears
I’m not the only one who will become hurt in this whirl ride
Yet I’m the only one doing the fight to try to hang on,hold fast,focus and survive
This is my roller coaster ride,deep abyss life ride
A ride I am on that I never chose to climb in and chance life on
One I became a piece of and can’t climb off or out
Not knowing answer of how
For now this is my torture
This is my hell
This is my life that is sucking me down in the sea of unknowns
Hurting more than just me in the chances ahead not where I have chosen the paths I am lead

To Forever Unite

Waiting on God to smile me away

Find me new life and bring me back to it again this day

Fear of never knowing driving me mad

While dreaming of him lying alone next to me in my bed doesn’t ease me still

To forever unite 

I still question shall I honestly ever see as every man I truly ever loved gets torn away from me 

I can’t drive to mingle and meet 

Then the questions always why?

But I rely on God that he’ll find me  yet my only walls is all my reality of life

A family

A great happy life

Be something great 

Were all the dreams I had within me 

Yet it’s only homelessness and these walls sourounding me now instead

Will I ever see tomorrow, be happy and forever unite

That question still locked in my files in my head remain true tonight

Torn By Death

Torn between life, love and death

This is something we see and face each day 

But yet somehow it’s different when it involves 

The one that your deepest darkest areas of your life go to

Watching it happen with VIPs around you friends and families are one thing

But seeing it happen with the one closest to your heart is something totally different indeed

It shatters your insides makes you feel like you want to hide

Makes you want to just sleep and cry

You sometimes don’t even feel like you even know who you are inside

Then to remember and realize once again that you have to question if this may again be facing a final goodbye

All the fears you ever hid inside and bottled up or left to rot and die never did and all surface back up to the top again as if the devil is peeking in to say Hi

Every fear jar opened and stinking of stench again as the truth of the moment comes alive again

Death is never easy alone as it goes yet to go thru death or even a possibility yet again of it with the one closest to your heart 

It stabs you like a dagger deep into the heart 

Alone it’s not easy to face and never will be but then to smell it as if you were in a dungeon or taste the sailine or see the wear of aging taking that loved one before your eyes it’s even more scarier then ever once was before. 

It leaves you standing face to face at deaths open door

You stand there torn by death