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My Tiny Little Girl – My Angel


You’d give your life for this child you bore
Yet right now you cant do much more.
Not knowing this disease hand in hand
Not even an understanding of what is still to come
How do I even face something of the unknown hidden in disguise
There is not even one thing I could even lend ideas to have toward this hidden frame work beneath her flesh and skin
One day all is well
All is okay
But any second or given moment everything could all change
What will the change bring
Answers I can not even say because
Below her skin is deep mystery
She is and always be my daughter
I just dont even know what to do or how to help her
I feel inside that one day maybe this disease will be no easy thing as it’s never been before; however this time it will be much much more so mich more than ever before
With talks of bone and marrow and transfusion in so many other children who are worse than her
My child who is still one year new to this specific disease layed on her life
I’m really okay knowing that she is facing a serious disease which God chose me to see, but I just wish I had more to understand and so much more to give
So many questions
So many answers in the search list
Prayers being sent twenty four seven
For one more good year to be added on to her life still
I dont even know if this will one day take her tiny hand from me but I know that is an underlying possibility
I just wish I could see her beneath the skin of possibility so I’d better be able to search the answers and know better what to give to help her the way that she may need
I can not see into her body to know what’s happening or what she may need
I can not give help for what I do not even understand it’s all just mystery lying below
As we just await for the opening and closing of the next chapter of her doors
But no matter how bad she may feel she always has a smile to portray as she continues to pull it thru
as she proclaims…”Mommy it’s okay…you’ll see it’s not my time to leave I dont want to leave…I want to stay”
My little girl never a faded smile
She carry’s her smile everywhere all the time
She knows the Angel she is deep inside
She knows how important she is to be here with me and I am not afraid for I know she is okay and safe
But
it’s all still the same I wish I understood so much more for her and knew just how the best I could better help her
No matter what she is still my tiny little girl
My Angel

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Posted by on December 18, 2012 in Angels, Love, Poetry, Short Stories, Uncategorized

 

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