A Man Of Honor For His Own Country
Love is gone
Dreams vanished never real
Hearts ripped apart at the seams
My soul empty more pain once again
Fifteen years amongst the drains
A Love lost and blown away with the wind of unknown fates
Only God can heal this wound that has been made
Shattered spirits, shattered hearts, dreams fallen and drifted apart
the simple life leaving left behind falling from love that once was ours
Fallen in time by what once was mine
Don’t know if it will ever be the same again
a simple love so safe and true
a trust once bound from one in self to that of now two hearts bound
by threads of spiritual and physical bonds created and bonded by strong threads intended to keep one safe
to build foundations and bridges strong
so as they will never come down
Hearts shattered and torn amongst this new pain
where did this crevasse lye when all seals where all edges were strongly sealed and bonded in pure love
Where has this all gone wrong
no memories or stories left for us to feel proud and keep to tell
Downing in despairs that this was never real
knowing that it’s only my feelings boiling the truth down
Tears falling as my days faced fade apart
each piece breaking so ice cold like
Ice glaciers freezing over beneath the waves of time
Keep this ones soul safe bring in no harm
All promises made I shall still remain true trying to be strong and keep
Keep this child unharmed as well
may se be strong throughout every journey of each of life’s doors
My heart is saddened y this breaking news
it’s like a single fuse awaiting and willing to blow
Given time it’s said it may return and all will be fine
in my heart I try to feel, see and believe
though I just don’t foresee it coming back to me
I fear this may be too real
for someone to one day know you inside and out and all the way around
yet then totally forget you as if you never were anything
others may not understand and may be okay with the new ways
Though for me this is too deep and too real to let go of for eternity
When one person means the world to me
yet has faded and drifted out of reality
I can not face or accept this
I can not make myself happy over this
I have given my entire life over this one person
I have spent every hour of everyday sharing writings and song with this person
to just sit back letting this person slip away and forget me as if I never even remained
I’d rather accept death than heartbreak an heartache
this rips my heart to pieces and tears me at it’s seams
I once shared everything with this person
they were my realities and my family
now they stare the unknown fear of strangers in my eyes
making black shadows form in my soul hidden in fear and tears fall from beneath my eyes.
I can not hide my fact of me sitting here beginning to cry
everything becoming erased and ripped from deep within every craves within me
feeling violated of all my secrets and personal things I entrusted within them as I once had
nothing left but a fearful blank stare making me sad and cry each broken tear.
broken and forgotten tears
left to flood any feelings still waiting to share once more that I may never see that day
This is the truth and the pain I can not face
Twenty-fourteen left in the dust
readers still reading throughout all my many years of these posts.
Twenty-fifteen still a journey being born
The man I love becoming fourteen years of whispers in the wind
possibly becoming two more broken hearts
history once again repeating itself
yet throughout all these posts I’ve seen rays of lights open at times
a spark touching someone deep within their hearts
as matter of fact it was alive tonight
Some stranger or maybe just a search engine I really don’t know
all I know is I was browsing and saw someone’s writing about my own wordpress site
read it thru and it was so accurate that it mad me choke up
and my first tears begin
Thank you to all my faithful readers for all your supports
for all your love and strength each year to keep myself posting each year
Thank you for being faithful and true
thank you for remaining you
Whomever or whatever wrote those words
I don’t know you but thank you for doing so
thank you for letting me see that my journeys are really being heard
and even more so thank you for summing up my paths in focus of what was still not even seen even by me
thank you for making me see my left out understandings of my own realities
making me see what was meant for me
thank you for becoming my faithful readers please continue to travel with me
thank you for making me still believe
Love never dies
Sometimes it hides tucked away deep inside
Pushed back away by scars and wounds hindering still deep within our lives
Yet the love binds us deep inside even with standing all given times
Even when we begin to try to move on ahead in life our love tugs and yanks at us pulling us back again were our strongest grip and hold binds us not to let go.
Even stress can’t always make our love die
In time it only sometimes makes us think we need to run away and hide just like the wounds and scars others have left behind
Holding tight to grip and embrassed and inter twined wrapped up in love is where we are to stay together in eachs arms to live a long health filled life
Together where we feel as one
Where we know we feel safe
Our love never dies
Sometimes it just takes lost roots or paths or runs down and hides inside
Like a turtle in a shell it locks deep wothin a hole to get away from the pain and scars inside
Yet it still even then will never fade or die
Love never fades or dies
With the kiss he lay upon my head a tear never seized to fall. His voice whispers in silence into my very ears. As if he were here with me. I never asked for much from him as if he were not given anything. Yet given all his love absorbed from his very life. He has been in my everthing. I didnt. He his and love relinquished all. I’m living in hope for another day as his hours are yet unknown. I pray that won’t be his last breath he takes. If it shall I’ll let him go with a sweet release but so very yet much unhappily. One last kiss and let him rest. Just to cuddle him is what would be my only request. Yet lord you decide. That is not my call to decide. Just if you shall take him forevermore. Let him go knowing how I loved him so. Let his heart beat forever and be teeasured throughout life. If he shall be called by you you to go from this life. My prayer to choose to stay is all I ask if could be. However it is not my call to make just my own plee. As I want nothing more but for him to stay with me. So I lay one last kiss on his head with hopes of miracles to take place for me. In hopes that you hear and know the only requests that I have made to be.
One cool night.
Not one soul insight.
Love is in the air.
Couples huddled close.
Cupid the only soul you see.
Arrows fly by.
As couples sit or dance keeping tune to their own beat, or close so they can feel each others heart beats.
Love is in the air tonight.
Romance fills the silence of the chilled cool night.
While two alone,
One boy and one girl
Look into the silent sight of the night seeing into each others eyes into a gaze one can not break
This couple makes the vow
Past the nights of the dates
Past the nights of one night stands
This boy has chosen to become a man
A relationship starts with two true friends
Builds a foundation stronger then the air
Stronger than any roads
Withstanding every rough sea and riding every wave
Withholding no breaks in time
This place becomes their unity and home
This place becomes love
This place is where memories began
Now where memories continue to build the bonds of ones new life
The life once was only you
Together you vowed to make it one out of two
Living for life is how it began
Living into death has now become your goal
When you’ve said till death do is part
That is the very moment that you became whole
No more questions
No more final thoughts
No more excuses
This is what it is and it is what you’ve now got
It’s nowe a unity no strong bond can break a friendahip that has traveled past the earthly realms of life
Bonded now on the spiritual soul
This os what has made them whole
Now a family
A unity till the end
Till death do is part is what they both said
They now leave their legacy and footprints in the sands
They thought they knew thei journey once before
Now they really know this journey
Intimate more so then ever before
History is made as they have walked past the babysteps along the way.
Here begins the future
It’s not just a quiet hidden date anymore
This is love’s unity
This is loves new realm
A castle all its own
A new land of the unknowns
A land they have bought and formed of their very own
This has become their journey home in the stars
Now strong forces all good and bad have given these two a bond that can not be broken and is true
Nolonger just friends
Now soulmates instead
Love they once knew at first sight that was true
A romance born by spirit
Of the spirits
Follwed from the heart
Not in lusts
Love is what they saw
This is where I want to see for me and you
This is true
This is fate
This is meant in the stars
This is reality
Of the never before
This is the journey now that I search for.
This is the rules of true love.
Each day I live watching each passing hour wondering if this will be the year that the man that my eyes focus on in my dreams will finally come and sweep me off my feet. Running away to earths end over mountains and hills past meadowlands and through valleys leaving all dismays and my old life truly behind me.
I know the finally moving on and letting go will be the hardest things to do.
Yet if I truly want out of this black hole of tormoil and domestic Violance and dismay then it truly needs to be today.
Otherwise my life will follow in circles under the same path traveled today
By then it may not be dismay, it may then be Just too late.
I need to leave out now yet there is looking no Chances of change
Yet being homeless is not easy or safe in anyway.
I know he is out there and that he knows the beats of my heart
However each coming year brings hope for him to come this year
Sigh but for now I’ll have to continue to face and have faith that never been married may finally become love at first sight, married before moonlight.
To then leave for a honeymoon under the sun with horseback riding and long romantic walks along the beautiful sunny beaches of sand.
Creating a life filled with many long filled memories of he and I.