Dreams of the seas


You sit under a stary sky chasing the one shooting across the universe making a special wish while it is in it’s evening bliss

While your life around you seems to vanish into the great abyss and you feel nothing goes the way you planned

You feel inside that you love him so

However even your love for him feel like you are loosing him so

Life just seems on the brink of the edge

Like it’s all a dream that you haven’t awoken from yet

yet this is real

this is life

You try to feel good about things that they will get better soon

however your dreams look too slim

you try to seek help and get nowhere

your tears can’t fall anymore your tangled in a great big knot

Several promises left undone

where is your life going

is this really real

I believe it is and I would like to just shut the forever door

I’m so depressed and hidden inside

I have run away in myself to just run and hide

I seem trapped in a ditch that I can not climb out

While the darkness overtakes me and covers me

Will this life ever get better

Many say so

yet I just really don’t know I’d rather be inside a great big empty igloo

 Making wish on that single falling star but wishes not going anywhere waves crashing on my shore

 shells getting broken to pieces with all the suds wash in blinding me in the light of the moon

wishing I could just jump in the ocean and ride away with a dolphin or a whale out into the wide open never ending sea of possibilities

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Rights always seem wrong


You try to do what you feel compelled is right. Though in life nothing ever really seems right. Seems someone or something is almost always being wronged. Will this world ever live happy and at peace. Will I ever live happy and rest my soul in peace. All the supernatural’s of life have all caused me all pain. Isn’t something ever gonna be right.Why does life have so much pains? Hatered all around from all the messed up rights always being wrongs.

Ghost Whisper In The Night 2


Some may call them ghosts others spirits. Weather they are ghosts or spirits their word is subtle and quietly heard. sometimes we see what they want us to see or we hear what we hear. However we may the spirits are always there. They are aound listen to all we discuss. They are near when we least expect them there. The ghosts are around everywhere. They hear what we say and hear, they say what they feel and haunt us too. They do what they do to reach out and communicate to you. We feel them when we are near. Souls left behind to figure things out so they can rest in peace. Lost souls not finding a way. Lying in a dark room quiet and focused you can sence and hear and see the unseen. Paranormal does exsist. Your in silent meditation or silent rest when you hear a just as silent whisper in your ear. No one else around you realize that what you had just heard was that ghost whisper in the night of that room. It’s like a silent whisper that comes from the silence of the room. The spirits who have passed from times before yet feel they have something more. Close your eyes. Relax your mind. open your heart to mindful things. This night is the night you may hear the ghost whisper in the air. They are here trying to communicate with us. Feeling a sence of help easing thru. These are the ghost whispers in the night asking for us to help guide them into the light.

The wolf (call to the wild)


His eyes look into the broad depths of the forest. His ears hear the tiniest piercing pin drop down. His feet leave marks as he run thru tracking himself in the snow. His coat keeps him covered from the weather and cold. He howls at night talking to his ansesters of moons before him. His as wide as could ever be with the color of blue that I see before me. The colors he wears so anchent and amazing with such a beautiful blend. His courage he wears like a metal of honor. His wisdom floating in the wind all the while. His honor to be the best that he can be. His speed to move fast and a hero in need. His loyalty to hold strong to the loves of his heart even when best or worst are putting up steaks to block off his ways. His grey as gourgeous as a winter sky. His white as glistening as snow topped with ice. His time he has is never marked in. His song he sings carrying bold and loud in the wind. He has always been one of my heart to this very day i shall we never part. This wolf I see is always a piece of my heart. His sense of danger is wild at play as he faces and learns to broaden ot’s depths day by day. His kene sense of smell travels off far too. Picking up any and each scent the catches his nose.

Rest Quiet


Laying here in the dark with silence all around

only one sound of the cats strong purr left to be heard.

 kids all finally asleep

 myself I cant even close my eyes.

My soul hardened and bitter not really ever looking for another tomorrow.

 Hurt within myself

 holding on strong to my christian beliefs.

While Satan has a good strong tug at my heart and soul.

 That’s alright you may try, but you won’t succeed at my life I say.

I will stay strong to my faith in God that my life not making sence will work in me as well.

You Satan will never win my soul over.

 I will fight keeping faith in ours till the very day that i die than to choose to be with you.

You are the enemy and where  I choose not to ever be.

So rest quiet my soul

the time is now yours right now

let the time not waiste away from you

My Sad Lonely Soul


Lonely am I crying inside
Hiding and running out of time
Tripping and falling over my out of sync life
I am a sad lonely soul looking for rest for my spirit
As my life around me falls apart as does myself
Spinning circles all around
Running others out of town.
No one happy in life here right now
Shadows falling over like black clouds.

Dieing Soul


My soul tired from running.
My heart soured by evil and hatred.
My eyes burning from lack of life and uncryed tears. My emotions drowning within a pool of sorrow adding a level with each year. Here i sit overlooking my pains and suffering which still engulfs around me. Making me unhappy each year passing. My spirit being mauled to death. I lay lifeless and numb in each passing day. Thinking and dieing inside as i watch nothing move my way in time. I have low to minimal life left now as my inside begins to die with the pain. Spiritual death or depression as said. Slow, aganizing and painful all through. My heart crying with every waking hour. Slowly claiming my spirit who is on verge of loosing hope and giving up.

Honesty


They say lying gets you nowhere

Honesty is the best way

how can this be when truths are told and only lead to hurt and despair

so how does honesty work yet never

this answer I would love to learn

I want not to be hurt as I want not to hurt anyone like him or anyone else as well

Though each time I am honest in any issue with anyone

 this is exactly what it seems to go thru and exactly all I see

So how does one follow thru with what things she feels are right if they always seem so wrong with them

I am crying inside and dying in heart of life my feelings and honesty are not things I can hide

I nolonger even have tears to cry or emotions to follow inside myself

I have begun to quietly shut down and hide

Is It Me


Why must I feel like everyone hates me or is working against me

why does my brain think this is okay

why does my heart talk to me and make me feel this way

why does depression take hold so well, never rarely letting go

why does it screw me up so wild the way it does so

making me feel so empty and attacked like they are all coming in to feast that last bite

why do I push them away so bad trying to keep them and hold them tight

why do I feel they hate me so

is it me

do I do it when I feel it too

I don’t want or like feeling this way

I don’t want the emptiness that only I can see

I don’t want the hatred I feel portrayed

I don’t want the anger of the pain i feel

I want to trust better and better draw near

I don’t want to shun or push away in fear

is it me

is it me

Oh God with thee I plead

help me draw nearer to thee

help me

help me to save what life I have left

help me to save that which was saved

help me save me like you had before by giving me eternity

help me save me so I can be me

Oh wait…. I am me so that just won’t do

help me save me and better me being like the way that you formed me to

help me

 help me

is it me

would life be better if I left people alone

would they really understand if I just vanished and disapeared

would they care

Help me close this path of depression  and my post traumatic stress I percieve

rid of it from me and heal me inside

it’s engulphing me and my life and I am running out of places to hide

This is not really what I want anyway

so why do I spend much of my time here within

help me to heal and be happy again

Help me be me like you who I see

help me be the me they are looking to see

help me to live in equility not die within my life where no one really sees the real me

sigh

this is the me I know but I want the real me like they do too

help me please

 help me now

is it me

is it me

this answer I can not see

Truth


Is it of me that he speaketh

I want to know what he sees

why do they always hide what they really know and see not sharing it with thee

Why can’t i know and see what others see in me

why can i never know the truth people see

i only know what i hear and have shared

but there is more to the picture of inner truths which is of that i have not been told

If I were dying would someone share it with me

I don’t trust so as there is so much more hidden I have seen already

If I were dying would anyone but he really care

Not too sure but again I don’t think they’d even notice if I just walked out that silent door

Who’d care

would they you sure

lets not find out … please

don’t go there once more

your running and hiding just like you talk not

how can you say when your not facing up to your own very fear

What door haven’t I opened

help me look there then

I don’t know how or i’d do it again to keep practicing then

guide me

show me

help me understand

give me a focus point and help me live again

help me see what you see

from within your eyes

there are thing that are hidden that I would like to bind as my own also

Show me

show me again

help me to define

define this focus of the underline that was to be left to hide

help me to focus better seeing full scale

all that you see…

help me save me love

help me save me

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