This Is Reality


When you have thought you finally made it

But then your life takes a big blow

You look at it through your innocent eyes not knowing where to go

With things you just don’t understand

Sometimes not even knowing who people are

Not even knowing yourself

You try and try to make sense of it all but find it only fizzles out

Having thoughts you don’t dare think and facts that you dread with visions of the future events you may not want to believe

Dreams you can’t always see

This is the reality

No matter how many times you try to push it all away

It Just returns hitting you even harder in the face

You learn to face the fact of reality

Push to conquer your dreams

Look for hope in the future of the things that you have seen

Thinking of logic reasoning to try and solve life mysteries

Living life day to day

In search of a better way

Not always finding answers or relief right away

But moving forward to ones safe place knowing you have made it this far

Celebrating and excepting even things you don’t understand

Creating your place where you stand

This is reality

This is reality

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No Need To Cry


Hush little one
Daddy’s here
No need to cry
Close your sleepy eyes
You have had a good day and have finally waken up
May God bless your tiny soul and let you rest some more
for Lord know’s you need your rest as any child does
You are safe in daddy’s arms
no need to cry
You’ve had a rough journey living kinda in coma for the past few days but now you are safe
again soon you can play but no tiny one you just need to rest
there is always time for play in another day
Daddy’s there and he’s holding you tight

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In That Tree Stairing Down At Me


Little bird sitting in a tree branch staring at me. With your feathers so fluffed you look so pretty. Opening your wings grooming yourself. What so you think as you sit in that tree staring down at me. Maybe I am a giant who scares you. Maybe you are hungry should I put out some blueberries and seed for you to eat? You sit there looking down at me maybe you are protecting young nearby me. What do you think little bird, what’s on your tiny little brain. Is there a nest that I can not see? Little bird sitting there in that tree don’t fear me rather sing a beautiful song to my ear so pretty and in elegant tone. Your just a little bird sitting there staring at me. With our lives so different I would love to know what you think. Enjoy and rest sitting upon that high branch up in that tree staring down at me.

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Unable To Breath


With every breath I take I feel my chest get tighter. It is as if someone is holding me down. Although o am not even lying down. I see my life flashing before my eyes. As fear takes over my mind. I don’t feel safe for the time I can’t breath, while I long and await him to be by my side. If he were here holding me then I could breath even if really couldn’t. Like a wind tunnel is the way of my lungs as I fight each day just to breath. Even with my airway filled my mouth remains open trying to get the air as my chest gets tight and like a dieing balloon still loosing It’s air regaining my fear. Like suffication taking me over it continues to get even more complicated.  This is my life not one I chose but the one I have to live and deal with. Remaining fighting the fight of being unable to breath.

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Sweet Child Daddy Needs You


Sweet child with many a distinctiveness about you

in a estranged world that you don’t even really yet know

with such beauty you share and you know

gleaming and shining from within

as you begin to learn and grow

with secrets and stories already of you very own

for you to share and show helping others out in voice throughout the rest of your life

things you may not even know or realize right now but then when you are old enough you one day will know

you  have done well so far for even only being one

your spirit is a fighter holding strong to your voice of whatever comes near that you know should not be

now you have undergone something not many would ever see

your fighting a fight hopefully so that you may not grow into a life of that like me

you are strong and have a strong will for the life and love you do already know

however you need to wake now sweet child

you’re in your new beginning and so many are still awaiting to see you once again

your daddy loves you

he chose this to try to help and protect you

but now sweet child

your daddy is still awaiting you

your father in heaven knows best your life you will face

but daddy knows what he believes best as your guardian on earth

as you were the gift given to him for him to provide a guarded and protected life for you

these are things that you may not understand as such a young child

but there are things that we as the parents still don’t even understand either and we are already grown

Sweet child daddy needs you

wake little angel of his

it’s time to go home

daddy’s exhausted and worn from waiting so long

and he needs rest for himself and you little one

open your eyes

open up your mind

relax and hold fast in spirit

let your life begin fresh once more and new

with the fighter you are I believe in you

I know that daddy does too

if he didn’t he would not have done this trying to help and protect you

your procedure is done you have done well

hopefully now the seizures will no longer affect you

I myself pray that everyday for you

 that you hopefully may never have to live this life I have

but now sweet child you need to come home and wake for daddy so he knows that you will soon

everyone is awaiting you to return and when you do I am sure there will be some great celebration and shared joy only just for you

you have fought a good fight and soon will begin to feel around in this new life

you were daddy’s miracle once in life by already being given to him

now you are in ICU finished the procedure everyone hoped may hopefully help you

I have seen miracles many in my days

I believe that you being here is not going to be your only miracle

I know there are more that will be performed and shown inside of you and to you personally in your own little world in time as you grow

sweet child daddy needs you

 it’s time now that you wake up

your life has just begun

daddy put all of his selfishness inside and pride away

doing this for you my child to hopefully live a brighter and better way

not knowing if he did right

he only could hope and pray that he did what is right within his eyes

if he ever needed you most

sweet child tis now

with all his heart and all his soul

his intentions were his deep filled love for you

he opened himself of where he did not even want to bear

to see you safe and silence for your faults that you had no control

doing all he has done just for you

in desperate for only the best for you

you have made it and conquered one of your hardest hills

we believe still in you and all obstacles that may still arrive

It’s your life for to live the way that you believe

with everyday choices you make

your life is yours

live it now as you would with you

remembering the world you know

wake up child

daddy needs you

let the real beauty within your heart come shine thru

you were made to fulfill a purpose that was only meant for you your lovesong for you to share

be the sweet child and beautiful girl everyone is waiting for

choose your path and change the way things are

look through the eyes of this little girl that you know you are

there could never be another you except you

 he wants to hold you once again in his arms

safe in his arms even if the world around you may be falling apart

he is waiting for you

we all love you

dedicated to lil paw who is just fourteen months old

and went thru double shunt surgery today

How Do You Make Kids Sleep Through The Night


What makes a kid sleep through the night.

 None of mine even have stayed asleep all night since they were infant babies. 

 I can’t ever get any time to get anything done.

I need help but there is none there.

 what do I do to make my children understand.

At night I lye awake all night never getting sleep in an entire day.

 I stay awake all night sitting and crying.

These sleepless kids are draining all that I have within me.

Lord I just want some quite self time.

 Is it so much to ask.

I am stressing bad Boone understands.

 Help my kids just please sleep all night I can’t take much more.

 When I say it’s time for sleep then why do they not listen?

 Even through the day they don’t listen to what you say.

How do you make kids sleep through the night.

 I just want rest and time for myself.

Time filled with piece and serenity.

Posted from WordPress for Android

The Poet And Artist You Believed In


You once told me as a mother and my friend

that I was inspirational

that I was well with my words

you always told me that I was a good writer

that I was a poet of many words

that my inspiration and my voice could change the world

that I could move mountains just by walking the valleys

I just needed to believe

you always enjoyed my work

you once told me that I was a good artist

that I always had good strong detail

these words you said I had never believed

I had never tried to do these works for you as much as I could

now you have gone and everything of inspiration and art is coming out more

I feel bad cause I had never had the chance to really show you

though I thank you for showing me just what I had

if you were here today I know that you’d be proud

you told me that even my brother’s believed in me

yet I could never believe in myself

it took your death for me to really open up and try to please you

inside I see now the poet I really can be

I love doing it, but I am not doing it for me now

I am doing it for you in your great memory

I have fully become the poet and artist you believed in

 

dedicated to my mom who died in 2010

who believed in me and had faith in what I could do and be

even I didn’t always see

I love you mom.

I am proud to be the poet and artist you believed in

even if I feel bad that you never had the chance to enjoy these poems I have recently made

rest your soul and I’ll see you again one day when it is in my time

We Are Children Of God


Take each moment with stride

enjoy the ride

leave the things of this world that you do not like behind

make beautiful and happy memories

trust in him and his mysterious works

serve him with all that you have in you

follow him in everthing you may do

I have seen miracles happen

I have seen even silent prayers answered

leave things of the world behind

become one in the spirit

become a child of God

hold onto courage even when you think that you can not

the mystery will reaveal when he wants

all the love he has given

by the blood we have been given

to form what we have become

moving forward in life and in time

with strength to hang on

we are the children born to be voice upon the world

we are the saints and the children

we have turned over our sins and accepted our wrongs

we are the daughters, the sons, the mothers and fathers

we are brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts and uncles

grandparents, leaders

we are the children of God

we are followers of Christ

he lets us rest easy within his holyness

finding myself in the midst of you

trying to do our best

at a loss for words you see your life

however in your soul and heart

knowing its okay

everyone falls

everyone fails but accepts their faults

 works at correcting the wrongs making them made right

Lord God speak

let me hear your voice

I’ve seen dreams come true

i’ve dreams that move a mountain

forming hope within

broken hearts becoming reformed

this is what faith can do

when we fall having the strength to get back up

serve him

he’s your father

he’s your friend

he’ll be here to the end

be children of God

we are children of God

we are the voice of the future

the leaders of a new nation in the making

we are children of God

Hopeless Hope


With my life round me crumbling to pieces and darkness prevailing in

 kids schedules off balance from the life that I have been given

 my heart lonely and emotions running dry of tears

I try to search for this light of hope yet it’s nowhere to be found

my heart begins to harden and die as I begin to see no hope inside

 this hopeless hope comes rushing in like rapids on a river

 I begin to loose my faith in all things in life that I see

 while i see nomore hope in front or around me

 I had once conquered my fear built in my life giving me hope in many places of void

now my hope that I once had within has died out burning out the flame

 and gone with the wind

 not even things that have kept me happy keep me happy anymore

 I feel like running away and walking right out the door

In your arms I want to be

 embraced and full of love

for if I were with you I couldn’t be so blue

  my hope would be filled once more

 all has gone lost since she passed away I can’t find any hope left inside

you opened the door for me once before and I know in time it will show me a sign but life is so hard with this hopeless hope

 I can’t even cry one tear

 my heart is longing for this hope again and crying full with pain

I lived my life as I best have

not yet giving up but hope I need to find

 you say that two sets of footprints are here one mine and one yours

 that you are here but it’s so hard anymore for mearly the thought that in tough times when I only see the one set this is when I needed you most and this my dear is when you have carried me along that tough road

 I can not feel as you are here at all

my heart has hardened to keep me sain as best it can while protecting me from disater of myself

I only ask of you to help me out here to find a way to help me locate and find the hope I search as I feel I have failed and lost the way needing some extra help today

If you really are with me this I plee

 find a new life and help me for this hopeless hope is filling within me drounding me

within washing me away in sorrow

I know that I conqured this once before  though I feel I can not this time for sure

I ask of thee to help me stay strong for a though road I have known

to find a place for me to be that I can call my own my home

 bring me into the happy place I once had always known

 finding peace and serenity within filling me once again with that hope

my road has slimmed my health is failing

 soon I fear there will not be much more life in me let alone a trust in you my spirit is growing dim my vision has already become blind

my mind within my brain is dieing as hope has gone away

in search of hope I try to find I try to continue still however passing time and digging deep i see none in sight

 only a hopeless hope I see that I wish I could destroy

 it’s ugly and evil and nothing to view as it only depresses me more

build me up lord

help me once more

 I am loosing myself like a quicksand pit sucking me into it’s hole

 I have nothing much left within for I have already given up this life I have right now life is too hard for me to like

please vanish this hopeless hope and build me up inside

giving me a strong support to hold me high

for my time is coming near that I will soon give up some more

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