Being Sick Is Not Fun

fighting health for a month is not what I want

although it is where I am right now

There are no real symptoms to match any illness or disease

although I honestly feel like crap

with my eyes fading in and out and becoming feeling as if they are shaking

my head feeling like I am dizzy and like my head  is falling off my head

running fevers for 3 weeks

this is not normal for being sick

My body feels like I am falling over

and feeling like I am trying to jump out of my body

now felling pain throughout my back

feeling as if someone is holding my neck really tight as my stomach gets feeling nauseous

but not sick

totally feeling like i am not me

feeling like I am leaving my body

shaky inside and numb

but not on the outer body

being sick is not fun

A Cold Winters Night Long Ago

There once was a baby wrapped and dressed of nothing but burlap rags

they called him Emanuel, Prince of peace,Jesus, Josiah

In the cold of winter nights he lay in a bed of hay

in a small barn of no room

animals of the barn watch in the manger where this baby began his life

surrounding to watch this special birth take place

known to all as The king this baby came to be

still in the bitter cold this child lay his tiny head

with one tiny star bigger than the rest shine upon the barn entrance way

while this child rest

people came from all around to visit and see this baby they called “The King”

Shepard’s and wise men from all over nations

came to see this tiny miracle in the making of a journey into life

Some brought him gifts of silver, incense, and mer

this child was to be brought to death even after just being born

but Christ his eternal father kept angels over watch of him as the child lay sleeping in the hay

protecting him in every day that he lay there in that cold winter night manger

Mary and Joseph just as surprised at the sight as all the rest

happy parents as any other

they accepted all the loves and gifts not knowing exactly what to say

these two parents held to their faith thru the journey of this cold winters night

as they stayed there throughout the nights in steady prayers that they would share

to protect their child from any evil outside of that barn door that may come in his way

till one special day the angels warmed them of the coming king

a king who wanted to take his life

The angel told Mary and Joseph it was time for them to gather and leave

that all would be okay but they needed to leave from the manger’s side

so now in the cold winter’s night

Mary and Joseph and this sweet tiny wrapped baby traveled all night

together thru the night to where God had led them

Where they would find true safety for themselves and this tiny child of their own

in time this child grew into the worlds and nations most known,

and most loved cherished forever and of all as The King

This baby is Jesus Christ the son of man born and chosen by christ

This baby is who saved all the world from sin in life

this all happened on a cold winters night long ago

and has lived its honor forevermore

becoming the most discussed baby of all times

Jesus is his name


Another Night Of Heartburn And Pain

Another night with this mad, angry heartburn, running throughout my chest like raging fire over hot coals
Another night of discomfort inside burning all the way up into my throat
Another sleepless night with agonizing pain and a new medicine that I have never seen
A medicine that takes four days for a comforting relief….four days you say…that is impossible and insane
I gotta stay living in this horrible heartburn and pain for four days. What shall come next a broken heart or leg
With pain so immense it brings tears to my eyes as I try to comfortably lie
Wishing for a faster relief to make this pain leave from me I pray for a silent night for me
Although not coming soon enough my breathing acts up with asthma and bronchitis to top off the heartburn like a cherry on a sundae will this pain end tonight I say I can’t bare another day
Yup It’s another night of heartburn and pain
I’d wish for a broken heart or anything at this immense serious ridiculous pain

There Have Been Times In My Life

Good inspiration of how great life is and the hope to be alive.

There have been times in my life when all seemed lost. Life just wasn’t worth living through another day. Then you need to remember things that are important to you. For as low as we fall there is always something or someone, somewhere, to help pull you back from the deep pits of darkness. Once you feel yourself slipping grab on to that something or someone. We wonder why life has given us such a bad deal. This is not to question. Love, Hope and … Read More

via The Poetry Den

Please Pray For A Boy Full Of Life And Love – Trey Love <3

Hey Everyone,
As we continue praying for my daughter to overcome and conquer her own health issues I ask we don’t forget Trey Love. Please add Trey Love to your prayers also. Trey was rushed back into the hospital again and admitted into the hospital again yesterday as he has had a long history battling cancer as well as other health issues to run along with it. His family is friends of mine and …we all are hoping for the best and praying so hard as well. Since Trey was 14 months old he has been fighting this battle. Trey is now 4 one year younger than Sarah my daughter we all have been praying for. It is always upseting and sad to see such young children fighting health issues especially health issues of this magnatudes. So Please add Trey Love to your prayers today as he is once again in the hospital. Thanks. May God Bless you all. ♥

Torn Apart By Blogs From The Heart

Torn apart by blogs from the heart

with the words that were meant to be

families formed by connection of two

 that were never one life in the same

Bringing out two families

 separated by distances apart

knowing they were meant to be

but never seeing heart in time

hearing and seeing things of the pasts

things that fall out of rhyme with time

like a lightning flash or a light bulb marking a new idea

there are things looking and fitting not so right

two soul mates knowing they are so

yet having yet to be together as now

things not always making sense as two soul mates should

questions in among the head

with un answered thoughts to speak

hidden in worlds darkness

for a soul mate is hard to find

true but still I feel I am loosing mine

living in a world of time

where nothing is real and all games

I feel so pure of the feelings we have

yet all around me is wrong

Seeing things written and read

of things I have never seen before

makes things not feel true

Knowing that is not how it is

or how it should be

I am living honest feelings

as some things on the screen I read

question me and make me wonder how much I really believe

Things that rub me in the wrong way

bringing in tears unto my eyes

things I do not want to read

and don’t make sense within

all of our dreams

however things I see and hear

 sounding and looking like we never will

I don’t know how to hold tight

when things are piling up and just not adding up right

Slowly being torn apart by blogs from the heart

Blogs that mean so much for me to read each and everyday

wisdom holding but pains and fears building

ripping me to pieces inside of myself

or voices speaking inside my head

though I don’t think so… this feels deeper inside than voices

Do they even know it tears me up like that

what do I do now

If I reveal it will cause issues

people will read into it wrong

others may get hurt

but you don’t understand

just how bad it hurts me to see

to see the things of which I see

every year another promise not fulfilled

all beginning to just seem like words said or written out

I am sure that is not so

but only you are the one to know

only you know the heart of the pure blog

I try to remain strong

but it is so distant that I have nothing to hold with a grip

a grip that I need as every piece of what I believed true

just seems to be a short end in my hand or vanish into thin air

as a path that we were following that just slipped and vanished from beneath our feet

that I don’t believe is how it is suppost to be

however that is how it is feeling to me

I love you I do

but I just don’t know what is happening and going on

nothing making sense in what I see

it hurts just as much to say

as it does to see and read

but all in itself I try to believe

for the soul mate I know we are and can be

I am hoping that you may read this just knowing i needed to vent

Nothing you read truly being meant

Praying that you aren’t becoming mad

just needed to clear thoughts from within my head

thoughts that just don’t really make sense

with thing that you and I have spoken between you and me alone

Know I mean it when I say that I love you

The Beautiful You

I have made mistakes

like any of us do

I have felt alone,

alone and afraid

without you

Loosing my own mind,

loosing my hopes and dreams

loosing my hold on faith

Yet in it all your keeping me awake

I hear you speaking out my name

calling out to me I hear your one small voice

as you help to pull me on through.


I have made mistakes

like any of us do

I have felt alone,

alone and afraid without you

Keeping me floating high

above the clouds and over the lands

I am reminded each day

As I hear your one small voice

putting hopes back into me

As I may not always see a beautiful me,

but I always see a beautiful you.


I have made mistakes

like any of us do

I have felt alone,

alone and afraid without you

I hear your one small voice

as you help pull me on through.

That is the beautiful you.



Cowgirl Hoedown

When I look at my apparel I see several different women I try to be

thoughts flying within my head of what makes the most comfort for me

I look nice in a dress and shoes, although it’s not really always me

I look nice in a dressy casual cachey and cashmere okay so that is comfortable but not me

I feel best fitted in cowgirl boots and country hats and country western apperal best

the cowgirl is where my home has always remained cowgirl is in my name

this is the best place apperal for me

nice and relaxing and comfortable for me

The Cowgirl hoedown is where i prefer to be

There Used To Be A Day…

There used to be a day in life where I could hold my own

where I always had a secure job with money to fall on

where the economy felt safe no mater where you were or who you went to

there used to be a day when my paycheck was six-hundred and forty five each pay

there used to be a day when I lived on my own and did all on my on the way I was happy

now years down the line the economy and government has had a great fall

I haul out in my life not even being able to hold up my own door

where I can’t even get security in knowing that I can obtain a job of my own again

I used to be able to spend and buy with my own stash of cash

while still sitting upon a pile of it’s own

there used to be a day where no table’s lay unturned

where everything within my life was nice and done

now I sit here in rubbish and trash

of a life that is not my own

no safety making me feel comfort of my feet

trying to make all my ends in life meet

watching all I have left in life crumble more beneath my feet

nothin left for me to call a safe haven or safe place

trying to stay tall on my feet

living as a handicapped is not the life that I asked for me

with each difficulty in life and each difference that I have

something in life is always holding me back

My Current Low Down Life

Living life on the edge is not the easiest thing

with no money to hold onto or spend

no job to call your own

a life your holding on top of hope to

in hope that the hopes will float on down

on the verge of being homeless

knowing you are at sinking point

staying sane so that the government doesn’t put restraints upon us

God is keeping you safe and sane

Life on the edge

is just not what I would portrait on any friend or foe

but right now this is how my life shall go

I do not like it NO

but it’s what I have right now

with no help for money, no job taking me in, no home for me and the children

health has gone down as well

but still I stay focused and looking high to the sky

pulling my head from looking to the ground

for when I let it fall and my eyes begin to wonder the earth

it brings me to the wealth and materialistic and virtue of the ground I stand

causing me to fall into the deep dark hole of depression and giving up at hand

So I keep my head high so as I can say that all will be okay and God will see me thru

this is only temporary transition I am traveling thru

In my time he will see me and I will walk the stairs to the new heights in my current low down life

Those who sit and stare or laugh at me will have their own time revenge handed to them

for this is a serious matter and all concerns are with me and not what they think inside

Only I know the life I have and they have not been down this road

They’re day will come and they will see their very own current low down life

like this life here now surrounding me