A mission of Hope
Brings a journey of Peace
To a heart full of love
Resting a soul of silence
To ease the burdened
and bring out a quiet release
Setting the wrestless spirit free
I have never been miss congeiniality, miss popularity, not even prom queen.
I have been in pagent’s, plays,battle of the bands and commuinty theaters, but never popular in any means.
Miss popularity, the singer, and miss USA have always been just that…dreams
You may look at my friends list and say “WOW, LOOK AT HER” She’s gotta be miss popular
but amazingly I never have been
I do have many friends, but that is just my memory of who and what good people who have touched my life in one way or another imprinting their trust, love, hope and pure generosity just for me to be able to reach out and touch me and my heart.
Miss popularity is okay but I have become happy today with just being me and finding my way in the truth that I made me this way. I became who I wanted to be that was suit just for me.
I created my inner piece of mind
I couldn’t do it without those people in my life who I entrust and can proudly call my friends to be able to send out those proper friend requests
It’s not all dazzle everyone believes but it is what each one makes of it. This is the true me.
Faded by darkness night after day
going to darkness fading away
blinded by sight mar and mar
today is trembling the night away
faded by darkness night after day
Going to darkness fading away
lost in the silence that stumbles my pathway
shadows all amongst saying whispers with the wind
blowing silence by silence
bringing darkness my way
Given time it’s said it may return and all will be fine
in my heart I try to feel, see and believe
though I just don’t foresee it coming back to me
I fear this may be too real
for someone to one day know you inside and out and all the way around
yet then totally forget you as if you never were anything
others may not understand and may be okay with the new ways
Though for me this is too deep and too real to let go of for eternity
When one person means the world to me
yet has faded and drifted out of reality
I can not face or accept this
I can not make myself happy over this
I have given my entire life over this one person
I have spent every hour of everyday sharing writings and song with this person
to just sit back letting this person slip away and forget me as if I never even remained
I’d rather accept death than heartbreak an heartache
this rips my heart to pieces and tears me at it’s seams
I once shared everything with this person
they were my realities and my family
now they stare the unknown fear of strangers in my eyes
making black shadows form in my soul hidden in fear and tears fall from beneath my eyes.
I can not hide my fact of me sitting here beginning to cry
everything becoming erased and ripped from deep within every craves within me
feeling violated of all my secrets and personal things I entrusted within them as I once had
nothing left but a fearful blank stare making me sad and cry each broken tear.
broken and forgotten tears
left to flood any feelings still waiting to share once more that I may never see that day
This is the truth and the pain I can not face
Following into the new year
I sit here looking back into the face again of truth and despair
unanswered questions and hope currently not there
At almost forty my years should be settled and silent
yet still unsure what tomorrow will show my dreams unknown and my days unseen
I again feel the question coming to play of will marriage ever come find my way
Stuck inside seeing all the same walls
family neglect that will never release
handicaps which are visually unseen
a life that no one around me is able to see or believe
living in fear of what each corner will reveal
living a trap which I don’t ever see even releasing from wrapping around me
homeless and on the verge of loosing my own kids
for life which was given to me and not picked or chosen by actions I have made along my
never knowing answers of what tomorrow shall bring
A deep feeling of abandonment and ignorance from family as if I never even existed
no on looking toward the future as hope lies slim
as I haven’t even seen a date with someone since I was twenty-one maybe at least
Not even a visit or someone to drop on in
each day my hopes dropping more slim in the sands
Will a day ever hold a marriage ahead
I see no pathways building the bridges to the future
not even much of even a friend
Tightening up my rein. I stay as tears fill my eyes. Don’t they see that I am doing all that is fully within me. My heart may be fully loaded and have all enough to go and spread out anywhere. However my heart has been ripped and torn in many a way throughout my past out years. I am doing all I can set within me currently. Don’t they see that this is me.
I’m not a hard out party person putting my life in behind me. This is me. This is what I live for each and everyday.
New things lay upon my plate. A man I like I have to rely on trust in truth for I can not see because he lives not near and too far away.
I believe in my heart but not too sure with my self securities. Putting myself down and negative and hard on me is what I usually see. Yet a possitive person is really me.
Just harder on myself is where I remain weak.
I hope and pray for a true helpful lead in life that I may see the unseen which I feel shall never become a part of me. My future always seeming unreal and unseen. A feeling as if it shall never be.
Love never dies
Sometimes it hides tucked away deep inside
Pushed back away by scars and wounds hindering still deep within our lives
Yet the love binds us deep inside even with standing all given times
Even when we begin to try to move on ahead in life our love tugs and yanks at us pulling us back again were our strongest grip and hold binds us not to let go.
Even stress can’t always make our love die
In time it only sometimes makes us think we need to run away and hide just like the wounds and scars others have left behind
Holding tight to grip and embrassed and inter twined wrapped up in love is where we are to stay together in eachs arms to live a long health filled life
Together where we feel as one
Where we know we feel safe
Our love never dies
Sometimes it just takes lost roots or paths or runs down and hides inside
Like a turtle in a shell it locks deep wothin a hole to get away from the pain and scars inside
Yet it still even then will never fade or die
Love never fades or dies