Wrestless Spirit


A mission of Hope

Brings a journey of Peace

To a heart full of love

Resting a soul of silence 

To ease the burdened

and bring out a quiet release

Setting the wrestless spirit free

I Have Never Been…


I have never been miss congeiniality, miss popularity, not even prom queen.

I have been in pagent’s, plays,battle of the bands and commuinty theaters, but never popular in any means.

Miss popularity, the singer, and miss USA have always been just that…dreams

You may look at my friends list and say “WOW, LOOK AT HER” She’s gotta be miss popular

but amazingly I never have been

I do have many friends, but that is just my memory of who and what good people who have touched my life in one way or another imprinting their trust, love, hope and pure generosity just for me to be able to reach out and touch me and my heart.

Miss popularity is okay but I have become happy today with just being me and finding my way in the truth that I made me this way. I became who I wanted to be that was suit just for me.

I created my inner piece of mind

I couldn’t do it without those people in my life who I entrust and can proudly call my friends to be able to send out those proper friend requests

It’s not all dazzle everyone believes but it is what each one makes of it. This is the true me.  

Faded Darkness


Faded by darkness night after day

going to darkness fading away

blinded by sight  mar and mar

today is trembling the night away

faded by darkness night after day

Going to darkness fading away

lost in the silence that stumbles my pathway

shadows all  amongst saying whispers with the wind

blowing silence by silence

bringing darkness my way

Broken And Forgotten Tears


Broken And Forgotten Tears

Given time it’s said it may return and all will be fine

in my heart I try to feel, see and believe

though I just don’t foresee it coming back to me

I fear this may be too real

for someone to one day know you inside and out and all the way around

yet then totally forget you as if you never were anything

others may not understand and may be okay with the new ways

Though for me this is too deep and too real to let go of for eternity

When one person means the world to me

yet has faded and drifted out of reality

I can not face or accept this

I can not make myself happy over this

I have given my entire life over this one person

I have spent every hour of everyday sharing writings and song with this person

to just sit back letting this person slip away and forget me as if I never even remained

I’d rather accept death than heartbreak an heartache

this rips my heart to pieces and tears me at it’s seams

I once shared everything with this person

they were my realities and my family

now they stare the unknown fear of strangers in my eyes

making black shadows form in my soul hidden in fear and tears fall from beneath my eyes.

I can not hide my fact of me sitting here beginning to cry

everything becoming erased and ripped from deep within every craves within me

feeling violated of all my secrets and personal things I entrusted within them as I once had

nothing left but a fearful blank stare making me sad and cry each broken tear.

broken and forgotten tears

left to flood any feelings still waiting to share once more that I may never see that day

This is the truth and the pain I can not face

Building Bridges To The Future… No Futures Ahead


Following into the new year

I sit here looking back into the face again of truth and despair

unanswered questions and hope currently not there

At almost forty my years should be settled and silent

yet still unsure what tomorrow will show my dreams unknown and my days unseen

I again feel the question coming to play of will marriage ever come find my way

Stuck inside seeing all the same walls

family neglect that will never release

handicaps which are visually unseen

a life that no one around me is able to see or believe

living in fear of what each corner will reveal

living a trap which I don’t ever see even releasing from wrapping around me

homeless and on the verge of loosing my own kids

for life which was given to me and not picked or chosen by actions I have made along my

own way

never knowing answers of what tomorrow shall bring

A  deep feeling of abandonment and ignorance from family as if I never even existed

no on looking toward the future as hope lies slim

as  I haven’t even seen a date with someone since I was twenty-one maybe at least

Not even a visit or someone to drop on in

each day my hopes dropping more slim in the sands

Will a day ever  hold a marriage ahead

I see no pathways building the bridges to the future

not even much of even a friend

My Future Unreal and Unseen


Tightening up my rein. I stay as tears fill my eyes.  Don’t they see that I am doing all that is fully within me. My heart may be fully loaded and have all enough to go and spread out anywhere. However my heart has been ripped and torn in many a way throughout my past out years. I am doing all I can set within me currently.  Don’t they see that this is me.

I’m not a hard out party person putting my life in behind me. This is me. This is what I live for each and everyday.

New things lay upon my plate. A man I like I have to rely on trust in truth for I can not see because he lives not near and too far away.

I believe in my heart but not too sure with my self securities.  Putting myself down and negative and hard on me is what I usually see. Yet a possitive person is really me.

Just harder on myself is where I remain weak.

I hope and pray for a true helpful lead in life that I may see the unseen which I feel shall never become a part of me. My future always seeming unreal and unseen.  A feeling as if it shall never be.

Love Never Fades Or Dies


Love never dies
Sometimes it hides tucked away deep inside
Pushed back away by scars and wounds hindering still deep within our lives
Yet the love binds us deep inside even with standing all given times
Even when we begin to try to move on ahead in life our love tugs and yanks at us pulling us back again were our strongest grip and hold binds us not to let go.
Even stress can’t always make our love die
In time it only sometimes makes us think we need to run away and hide just like the wounds and scars others have left behind
Holding tight to grip and embrassed and inter twined wrapped up in love is where we are to stay together in eachs arms to live a long health filled life
Together where we feel as one
Where we know we feel safe
Our love never dies
Sometimes it just takes lost roots or paths or runs down and hides inside
Like a turtle in a shell it locks deep wothin a hole to get away from the pain and scars inside
Yet it still even then will never fade or die
Love never fades or dies

The Story Of The Day At The Grand Ol’ Opry


I can’t help but sit here and think of the time that I had my one chance at going to the Grand Ol’ Opry
I had no idea at the time how old and how well known this one building was then. But with much of my life torn beneath my feet in life as it is now.
I always replay the Grand Ol’ Opry day in my head again and again. It was just like any other performance held there that day and what happened would have been nothing but ridiculous and stupid to everyone around that day. But in our family it was a day our family will always replay and replay because even though what happened was so stupid that day. In our family it was hysterical in every stupid yet funny way. You see my mom was never keen on being funny or having much of a sense of humor. Yet the performance that day just totally blew her away and amongst thousands of people around that very day in the grand ol’ Opry during the middle of just any known performance it just happened to be this one this very day. One not so hilarious funny soul…. my mom jumps from her seat in that big fully packed sold out theatre that day jumping up onto her feet raises her arm into the mix of the crowds and screams as loud as her not so loud voice would carry saying YeeeeeeHAWWW and like to not even embarrassed herself this made our entire family there that day laugh like never else before at and with her as those who knew my mom knew there wasn’t much of a sense of humor or even a funny bone within her body. That was our most fun and funniest day ever. So amongst all the clutter within my life now I can’t help but to stray away from my stress and back to this very odd day there at the Grand Ol’ Opry just to have just one very giggle brought back from history and time within this very past life of mom yelling yeeehawww amongst all the crowd of people there at the Grand Ol’ Opry.
It wasn’t much but it was an opening step for her as she also stayed subtle and pulled back as she wasn’t very social with herself either so she came out of her very own turtle shell that day. This is one memory that to this day still continues to bring a simple smile to my face even when she isn’t here and it’s what I have left of her now today.

The Bunny Dance


Tap tap tapping
Hop hop hopping
Thump thump thumping
Goes a bunnies feet

A little nose wriggles
A little tail jiggles
Then a tap tap tap again goes the thump thump beats

A jiggle of the nose
A wiggle of the tails
A hop hop hop
And the bunnies do their dance

A look into each others eyes to share the love they have so magnified
A twinkle and a riggle
The bunnies give a little jiggle

Chasing one another all around then snuggle so close just so profound
That’s the way that the little bunnies do the bunny dance