Here in an unknown environment I sit and think. Life seemimng a bit more complicated with each waking light. My brain so smart it begins to hurt at times, my life so quiet I mellow within my own. I see a man I love so dear yet trulely knowing him within is so different still. It is like a different brand of shoes brand new…. You like them but when you go for the fit it just does not stand in. My minds a boggle in situations of life.Yet when I am near him my heart just continues to float. I know not now what hides beyond door number 3 for each move I take put me within another new journey of the unknown lands.
You’re all I ever think about, you’re my mind and soul.
You’re all I ever think about. You’re what makes me whole.
Your my light in the dark of the night. your my sun brining me a smile again.
You’re all I ever think about. My thoughts always growing nearer to you.
your my key into a life of the deep unknown.
My sand on a beach who continues me well and makes me known.
You’re my everything.
You’re my midnight’s dream.
Wherever you go I will follow.
Shall we never part or say goodbye.
Stay with us always each day till we die.
My love is larger and falling hard, I don’t want to fall too hard to hit the ground.
Pick me up and brush me off.
This life of ours i do not yet know but sone one day will never to be alone. I love you now and forevermore,
This little lady is ready to open the christmas door.
My dream only a glowing realm over my head. Turn it to magic and add in BELIEVE. This day will come as soon as it should.
There will be be nomore living in slum of the hood. Turn into tommorrow, and make us believe.
Don’t cry as I watch from the otherside wishing and hoping that this day will come, that together we become one in a true family.
Stars- Jan 14, 2011
stars that twinkle in the sky
Stars that lay across the sky
Stars that shine so bold and bright
Stars that glisen in the night.
Stars of jesus birth above
stars that show the way for us in love
Stars that lead us in the directions bound
Stars that shimmer throughout the town
Here we are sitting beneath them
Gazing into eaches eyes
souly perfect in ones gaze yet life around us like a maze
Yet no matter how easy or tough things seem
one special thing always remains.
You my dear are heaven sent
down to me to make me happy
You lil one are forever my special shining star.
whispering winds traveling by.
whisping throughout the branches and trees.
Blowing on in like a spirit floating by.
With icy cold breeze bringing chills to your spine.
Headaches rush in…in the middle of the night.
Tears drowning you within your eyes.
All this really no big surprise.
With an uneasy sense of a hush blanketing the sky.
My eyes filling like they want to cry.
My heart beeting wild like a raging wild bull.
giving at chance for that special glance.
Hands nose and mouth loosing full sense of things to do.
My world crashing hard upon this place thay call earth.
before my rest falls short again.
hands trembling at this fear, that no one’s left for me to hear it or see you.
Rapid pulses with every breathe.
Feelings of hope of nothing left…
a door closes with this wind while another is open leaving open for the small gap of sunlight to shine to beeming in,
Not a drop or ray or a drop of pure light just tears of rays seeping the night.
Here I am drowning in this place called life.
All around me living on edge or uderground.
Tears falling like rain umongst my face from my eyes.
Holding in my heart this lifeless love of one flame of hope holding me here.
Wising each day that we’d honestly get there.
Feeling unsure with nothing but breeze entering through this wide open door.
My emotions high and heavey ready to cry again of the tears which just won’t stop.
Life holding me in one locked in place unable to find the button of release.
Hope running slim to none, yet somehow still holding on.
Thinking each day of a new tomorrow, a better tomorrow.
drowning within myself filling my very lungs i breath with filling them with fluid that won’t disperse anywhere.
Living this lifeless love, the only love i now know.
hot chocolate can stay
cozy up in a blanket,
put in a movie is the good snowy day life for me
O’ but the kids disappointed,
they can’t go out and play
ok okay wipe those tears away
igloos and forts
sledding and snow angels
much, much more…
Ok snowy days
I guess we can play
I’ll put my adult life away for now
returning to my childhood filled with dreams
looking into natures eyes of the fun at play in these every snowy days
As I look into your eyes through the beams of soft gentle lighting I see nothing more or less than beauty behind the lids which close into the center of your soul. with quiet spirits surrounding you i hear your mellow voice whispering in the night. your hair resting on your brow. your breath carrying with the wind. so subtle that I sometimes forget your there your skin so smooth like baby’s breath. with your gotee sweet as could ever be. Your touch calming me in a warm embrace never without moment. Together our spirts rein throughout the night. not a sound breaking the silence of our intamite balance of love within our hearts, souls and mind. Your beauty brining out the best of life in me. not even silence could break the feelings we show and have for one another.
To have you here is my one last dream i hold within my empty picture frame When is it to be? you my dear mean so much to me in human mind and spiritually. your strength holding me up. your wisdom giving me hope your sexy you making me think i did good but i don’t diserve you. Saying but if I don’t i won’t be happy. You make me me happiest I could ever be. I don’t want to loose that within me. I miss you so, you just never imagine or even know. You complete me and mean the world to me. I don’t want to loose you within me. keep us embraced so we together unite into one spiritually and naturally.
I see in his eyes the intense burning flames. His voice how hot on my neck. Hos tone piercing me like a knife. Striking like lighting any chance he can. Though he says he loves me i can nolonger see. I only see in eyes sight the hatred he has in me. I know i screwed up on him; but that was the past. The begining in time with us. When there was uncertainty and lust. A time unfamiliar and unsure of confidence. A time i marked and said sorry for. Eight years now i have remained his strong hold. Though that doesn’t seem to mean a thing i still remain to see only the hatred towards me. I feel the heat burning my skin when he gets close to me. He burms me to the very inner core,getting under my skin like a parasite. The sad feelings begin to tale way as the hatred in him full fledge attack at me. He can not see how this fire he is burning hurts me so. The pain so intense that i can not even fully cry as depression build deep inside of my spine. Then anger and void begin to overtake me physically harming my coat that is on me just to feel the relief that i hide. He feels no remorse for how he makes me feel. Nor any love like we used to hold dear. Its all a big sword charging me down. Draining what energy i have from the hatered i see. He feels no love but claims he does. Though even sherlock knows these actions of hatred are not love but a disquise to hide. I messed up yes but that was long ago a place of comfort i did not know. It passed me by and i learned from things. I became my new me. The mother that he made me. We made a vow before we became us to stay friends throughout everything we’d ever share. No matter what termoils tried to cease we would fight thru it to remain happy and close like we were in that day. Though he is blinded in that mow with me aeeing nothing between us but hatred in me. I have time and time again before thos day said sorry to him and walked away. Why stay where i was at the time then when it was wrongs and i want rights. I can not see lo e anymore just the hatred he has in me. I feel all the emotions still in my heart but they don’t meet with what my brain knows as fact all the actions show a different view. Let me ask you reader…what do you see in this story i tell of his hatred in me.
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