Given A Heart Of Light

I have been given a heart of light to try to help brighten people’s lives

you meeting me was no mistake

you just did as others would have and saw my light and followed to its brightest shine to see where it would lead

where others gave in to the darkness once again and turned away

you have remained and held on tight within my lighted paths

I will continue shining my heart of light upon your way

even through the days that you may walk away and refuse my light

keeping you within my own light to continually protect you as an angel friend would.

I have been given a heart of light to share with others if they would accept

a heart so pure full of gold shimmering light shining upon the path at your feet

my heart of light

you chose  your path I only helped you travel along its way

it wasn’t much

just some purity and love

mixed with a special ingredient creating a heart of light

 I have been given a heart of light

to shine on earth throughout the nights

helping others in desprate needs

facing mental, spiritual and physical difficulties

to be a friend and a lending hand

or even just a listening ear

by God’s great design I have been given a heart of light

In Tears I am…

In tears this I do believe

In tears I listen and receive

In tears I am…

In tears I release to help me in someway set free

I hear these words that you say to me

In tears I am…

I know these words that you say so true are words from the heart of your heart too

I feel the vibe from within as I sit back and quietly receive and listen

with no response right now to share

I have to just hold to your words to feel a bit more near

In tears I am…

feeling like a sinking ship sailing in the rough waters I sail

In search of an open pathway for me to break me out of the twisted tides of this open sea

every breaking opening I see I think may guide me out to you I take a glance to get me there and lose my way somehow again

In tears I am… loosing sight of the light I had

paths changing as I search for the way

In tears I am…

I can not meet the way

confusion setting in and depression has taken way

 questions unasked in fear of answers and truths

hopes hindered in the lost way

love still hanging on with no real understandings of reasonings

In tears I seek all things that I believe and I know

In tears I still search with hope of us being

in tears I hold tight to these dreams

sometimes with short a flame

but still burning strong, wild and free

In tears I want us to be free for life

but there are so many things trying to block us of the sights

In tears I sit and think day and night keeping lit my growing light

In tears is where I remain most recent in life

in tears is where I am…

  in tears is where I am

In tears yet still believing in a hope and love for tomorrow

I will stay here until then

then when you may see the light within my view

I shall go nowhere and not lose sight

In tears I will remain until time that we see the same

In tears I am…

Once And Only Then…

Once and only then…

Knowing in my entirety that I have your heart is not my worry in time

Once and only then…

I want one’s whole self and not just one’s heart

I want you here

I want to feel your touch

Once and only then… I want to feel…

I want to embrace you in love like that of a giant teddy bear

I want to feel your arms around my sides holding me tight

without you I am nothing inside

Once and only then…

I want to feel secure in knowing that this is not just a fantasy in life or just a dream

I know inside our love is real

but I still yearn and do not have the grasp on it

I know it is real

but it is not here

love so true would not go on so long

but love so real should be together everyday

we have not even seen even one day

my heart is crying for you as my soul is still burning just one single flame

Once I have your entire self and not just one’s heart

that is when my soul may then lye in rest

Once and only then will I settle within my mind

Once and only then will I settle and find a peace and relief

once and only then will our true love fully begin

Once and only then… once and only then will my life finally truly begin

once and only then…

Just Because I Love You

I stay awake at night after the kids go to bed just to be able to vent and say once throughout the day that I love you
Others may say i dont care who you are your not taking away from my sleep time and maybe that’s so but not for me I just want to express my true self to you as I feel You ask but why when you need sleep…just because I love you and I want to say I love you as I want just because I love you

The Wind

I ask  where are you

and get a silent response

still not even knowing where you really are

though this message was not from tonight it filled the void to ease the mind

I can not whisper loud enough tonight for you to hear me in the wind I guess

you ask was it the wind when you know within your soul that the wind it was not

but somehow you heard the whisper than that was spoken within the wind

so why can you not hear my voice tonight when I call out loud in this silence

I can’t raise my voice over the silence too much for we both know I will wake the kids

you need to look within your reach of your heart and soul to feel me and hear my call

so why are you refraining from my reach tonight

open your ears so that you can hear

unlock your heart to fill your soul

so that you may hear again my voice carry in the wind

open up to feel us close

I miss you tonight

this is a feeling of unfamiliarness that I am not aware

I do not like this feeling and sense of being around me

I want to be where we’ve been before and where our thoughts are thought whitin each others minds and not thine own

I want this feeling of you being near and you being home


Where Are You

Here I am alone within the dark of the night

sitting alone in the unknown of a pale and hidden moonlight

wondering where you are and why you will not answer my call

not even hearing a distant wolfs howl

or seeing a animal of the night around on a prowl

where are you

I have asked myself this so many a time now

not a single word since I remember when we last spoke

not a notion of a reasoning of that you’d not be around tonight

I sit and ponder trying to piece it all together within my tiny brain

although unable for all answers do not fit

Here I sit in the cold and silence of the night

not a sound around

not even that of the rain

not a sound of distant thunder brewing

sitting awake and unable to sleep

 for things are feeling a bit not right

unsure of what the eary feeling is in the air

however I know that your spirit is not here

it is not responding to my constant repeating call

where are you

you are not within ear of my call

you are not answering my calls from here

you are not responding in any ways I try

are you alright

are you okay

are you safe from the darks of the bitter cold night

where are you

you have my heart beating wild and fast

uncertain of your sudden disapearance

uncertain of your where abouts

was it something I did

was it something said

why this silence between us

here I sit in the dark of the night staying awake with you on my brain

lyinjg in the chill of the air wondering where you are

I listen still but I still can not hear your call

sourounded within the silence of the bitter cold breeze

 I only hear the wind

not a thing more

not even a mouse running across the floor

this is so unlike of you

we usually have more to be said between our words

knowing our every action before it’s made

yet tonight I lye awake in silence of knowing where you are

where are you

why will you not answer my call

where are you

hating this silence I sit surrounded by

trying to catch my breath at every thought which passes my brain

the air around me damp and very near

here I am and you are not near

what is running throughout your life that has you being so distant and drawn back from me tonight

I couldn’t even follow your close footprints tonight to find you if even I wanted to

I have no info to believe in knowing your where abouts

I feel so empty not knowing where you are

I feel so lonely and sad filled in this silence surrounding me

so mentaly unsafe within my own mind

oh where are you tonight that you won’t speak to me

Everything Is Planned, This Is How Everything Goes

We live our lives each day on the edge of our seats thinking we may have it all made and that things may be going our way
Although most of the times finding out we’re not right
Trying to pull everything together in one big pile but never can
Life just simply goes just as everything was planned
Our lives falling apart around us and we try to stand above water with it but feeling overwhelmed we begin to drowned in it all. This is just how everything goes in life
Choices in our life can be made and changed but the plan that was given to us is ours to always keep and take
Only he can change the plan he had for your life
Everything is just the way it was planned
With not a question and hardly ever any time you try to stay on track though exhaustion takes hold pulling you down
You try holding your head high however it begins to fall you realize that everything in your life is taking hold and pulling you down but in a sense everything is still going just as it was planned for everything in life is planned ahead and this is how everything goes in life

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Monsters In Her Closet And Under Her Bed

She lies in her bed in the dark, dark room and tries to sleep
Although the shadows creep up around her keeping her awake
She begins to tremble lying within her bed
Listening to all the sounds around her and the lights on the walls she becomes truly afraid
She tries to pull her shades to hide inside within the corners of her room.
Shaking at every noise age begins to believe there are monsters in her closet and under her bed hiding behind the doors within the perimeters of her room
She hides her face into her pillows trying to block it all out and free herself from the fear and eary feelings building inside
As she begins to cry becoming more afraid she yells for mommy
With mommy not coming as quick as she’d like she starts beginning to think she may be alone and lets out a horrified thrilling scream
Then in from the hall her door opens slowly from the outside and in the dark of the room stands a tall black figure she jumps under her covers with tears streaming down her face  yelling with extreme fear she screams for mommy not realizing mommy was the shadow standing in the doorway
The light goes on and seeing her mom she jumps up in her bed and into her mother’s arm as her tears begin to dry
She tells her mom about the monsters she hears in her closet and beneath the bed
Her mother trying to reassure her sweet child for rest and of her fears she says…my child it is okay dear the shadows are only shadows of the night created by everything around you and how that light shines across it
Then she continues expressing the best as she can telling her child that the noises that she hears are only the angels which God sends to each corner of her room to watch over her and protect her thru the night as she sleeps
That there are no monsters in her closet or under her bed
She asks her mother to stay by her side while she sleeps
Her mother trying to get out of it says hunny you’re okay, just close your eyes and before you know it it’ll be morning with daylight soon to follow becoming another day
Not wanting to be alone in the dark she again asks mommy stay with me
So unwilling to upset her child sits upon her childs bed to help her back to sleep
While exhausted herself she begins to fade
There she dozes falling asleep herself there next to her child
Together the two lay throughout the night happy and content together in each others arms
When morning moves in mom awakes realizing she had fallen asleep the whole night away with her child
Yet putting a smile on her face she puts aside the fact of nothing getting done as she had planned as she had slept the night away to face the fact that it felt good to be able to wrap her arms around her child once more as she has grown older and won’t let mommy do such things as much anymore
Becoming a big girl this child is growing into her own identity
For the first time she once again she had let her mother in
This brought a smile across the mother’s face as she quietly and slowly crawled away from her daughters grasp and out of the bed to start her new day refreshed, renewed and in a really good mood
Letting the child sleep she turned and took one last look at the quiet child as she quietly snuck out her bedroom door as she whispers goodnight honey there are no monsters in your closet or under your bed it’s just God’s angels protecting you so rest soundly my dear, your mommy’s here and near and she loves you very dearly no matter what unconditionally trying to always show it

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You Died On A Hill On Calvary’s Tree

Originally written 2001

you died on a hill on Calvary’s tree

the last you thought was a thought of me

you gave up your life to set men free

safe from harm upon Calvary’s tree

You gave me the love I needed to see

you told me truths only I needed to hear

you took away my uncleanness and made me pure

you took my heart and opened its door

you gave me new life, one holy and pure

made me eternal for evermore

you saved me from sin and made me new

you tore me away from feeling blue

you saw me through my pains

took away my tears and filled me with joy

giving me new life fo future years away

you’ve taken my heart

and filled it up now

but it’s overwhelming for those long-lost souls

so my heart overflows

pining with love for other still lost souls

souls still lost in the search pulls me strong

I only want to reach and help them

my heart cries for you

but I cannot find the way ahead

to follow your will

to reach out in your name

I come so close

yet you seem so far away

capture my love

give me the time that I need

my heart yearns

in sorrow filled dreams

I cry and I cry

but cannot feel heard

where is the love to hold me fast

have I lost your love along the way

I am blinded now

even when I try

Why have I not reached you goal for me

why have I still fallen short today

my time is coming near but still I cannot see trough

my time is coming near

but I still cannot see through my fears

how than can I see through to you

yet still not find my way

I know you are there

 but I still gotta ask where are you

why am I so blind to what is  for known

my heart has been torn so many a time

but I still continue to grow in that long thin line

even then I still say where are you

I cannot find your great desire

please oh lord just give me a sign

why is it no one can be just like you

you created us in your likeness

you loved,

you laughed,

you even helped us through

but in the end

the only one perfect is still just you

no matter how hard we may try

we truly could never be just like you

bring us home

bring us home

we need you lord

we need you now

no more tears

no more fears

no more sorrow

no more pain

until the end you are our gain

life is so hard and ever so long

but all the more we carry on

you died on a hill on Calvary’s tree

the last thought you thought was a thought of me

you gave up your life and set me free

safe from harm on Calvary’s tree

you gave me the love I needed to see

you told me the truths I needed to hear

you took away my uncleanness and made me pure

you took my heart and opened its door

giving me new life

you remembered me all along

traveling long trying paths still looking for the way

you shown a light to guide my way

brought me people to help them see you too

still I don’t feel the satisfaction of me

I still look in life for the truth for my very own roads

I still feel a sense of pain and dismay

even after you have taken it all from within me

knowing that it will never go away

I still move on ahead looking for my way

down winding roads

and hurdles in my way

you ask me why

I answer because you have been there as my friend along my way

you have seen me through each day

and when I couldn’t go no more

you carryed me the rest of the way pulling me back ahead

now I tell your story for others to hear

only hearing the truths will bring them near

near where they can create their own journey with you

their own experiences helping them grow with you as I have so

you have held my hand along the whole way

you have remained that friend

you have shown and shared so many miracles I have seen

to them I share just what stories of my own I have seen

I am the voice to change one’s life for their way

knowing this I still long for you

for your closeness and love

that I feel embrace me

you died on a hill on Calvary’s tree

the last thought you thought was a thought of me

you gave up your life to set me free

safe from harm upon Calvary’s tree

you gave me the love I needed to see

you told me the truths Only I needed to hear

you took away my uncleanness and made me pure

you took my heart and opened its door

you took my life and save my soul from death and suffering

you are faithful

you are true

you are Jesus Christ

you are the son of God

you are the peace and life for men

the one who loved me and saved me setting me free

The Whisper In The Night; You And Your Soul Mate

In search of peace

trying to find that which is not in reach

believing in hope that you will find him

you search for your soul mate in life

turning every crevices and corner

traveling through the valleys


lost lands unknown

taking down note and leads along your route

finally on the right path you can see the light at the end of the tunnel of time

You have found your soul mate

the person you see everything in

the one where hope lives on to never die

lost in words not knowing the words to say

beginning to speak but no voice heard

you shutter as the silence is uneasy to bear

all you want to do is tell them really feel but the silence still prevails

when not even a sound

you continue in bliss to see them by your side

you hope and pray that what your intuition feels

 you are sure this is the one

when finally you swallow

with one small voice you say something that suddenly pops into thought

shocked at your own amazement

you hope they heard exactly what you say

such one tiny voice

like the wind blowing thru the rippling wheat fields

with a subtle rustle and sound of each piece of wheat blowing in the wind

as if to help those lost souls

 who never found the peace

ones who had forgotten hope

at peace now

 knowing you had traveled what you think is the right route

you again whisper what sound comes out not knowing how loud

you say your words hoping to be heard

the gentle whisper you push to say

falling upon their ear

still not knowing if they hear you

you say it still with more volume of what you can get

startled they turn in search of what they hear

you are there to watch it all

then again you speak

hoping again that they’ll hear you

hearing your whisper in the night

they follow your voice

till they come upon the voice face to face

your words you said have worked for now

though feeling for those who lost hope

  becoming lost souls

you still wish they had been

or had found that whisper in the night

each of you finding each other before it’s too late

in a sweet embrace you two become one

for you have found your peace

you feel satisfied

you have found your soul mate

they have heard your whispers in the night

now it’s just you and your soul mate

just you two

now you can be happy

and see that life can be a true and happy reality

you have found the love and can fully Endor

becoming one 

 now settled and happy in life

you have found your peace