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Monthly Archives: January 2016

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I never denied myself

I never denied that I need help

I denied the trust of those in my realm around me who were doing the work of trying to help me

I have always complied with all around in whatever they ask it’s who I am

But trust and I don’t do well and many a time deform 

I run from trust

I hide inside 

I hide what hurts because it feels good to hide

But I’ve never denied I need help

I’ve begged and pleaded and written a battle cry

This is who I am honest, sincere, forward and endere

I’m not a monster they all form me out to be

I just want to stop fighting for equality 

Been fighting that right for so long trying to get disability back to 1997 and everyday them denying me

Now I’ve reached a point in my life where it’s raped my family, my life and my freedom and my marriage away from me as I have to this day never been married at thirty eight

Yet they say what they have done is okay 

With no father listed 

No marriage

And no paternity claimed

And history of abuse towards me 

Yes my living situation is bad but I’m trying to get help everyday and have never stopped

I only sleep maybe one or two hours still trying not giving up 

It’s all I can do to fight this fight your claiming at me Mrs authorities

He’s done lots worse and his mom even more leavening  this kinda stuff done to me yet you allow my kids rights to go there with 

Again no father

No marriage

No paternity 

And just look at what they’ve done to me
  
 

 
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Posted by on January 31, 2016 in Poetry

 
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As I stated in and earlier entry I was born and raised in Audubon Pennsylvania. I grew up in Pennsylvania graduated highschool living my entire life relying under the wings of God due to a seizure disorder and not able to be what humans would call normal. Well as I was coming into graduation of senior year of highschool my youngest brother was moving into the highschool while my oldest brother was transitioning to college and my parents were dealing with their parents divorcing, ill and dieing and hurricane Floydd coming ripping thru flooding my childhood home out. Trying to do all in there power and will that they could with schooling and raising three kids a divorce of one in laws and several sick and on death bed family members they still sat trying to do what time they could to save my childhood house however unsuccessfully. Meanwhile all the family members then died who had been ill and my grandmother left her house where I have been staying currently to my mother and uncle. Yet my mothe then died and left it then between my uncle and my father. Problem is my grandmother a wonderful women an evangelist died of age 94 yrs and had loved company and had helped and had several other four generations of friend and family live in and out of the home as well God bless her rest in peace Mima i love you. So the care of that house had also gotten overwhelmed as well and become more handle than any one ever knew. So once my family moved in yes it gave a temporary roof but it caused more damage to a very closely connected Christian family than good. So now they have temporary taken my kids unless it all can be fixed and mended. This is how I became homeless. I didn’t want to come down this route but God always says open your honest ways and ask for your needs. In my reply when I see it is time it shall be given. I don’t know his time. I don’t like being honest about the bad and evil works of Satans under minding evil that embarrasses but I need help and need to step outside my boundaries of hiding myself and work on widening my surroundings and broaden myself 

 
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Posted by on January 31, 2016 in Poetry

 
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Well looks like Satan wants to make this a VERY HIGH standing public war. I had not wanted to get this far which is why I had been trying to keep my poems and writings subtle yet very open in detail I am caught in amongst a VERY HUGE spiritual warfare going on around me and as I mentioned before I am a shut in within the very walls of my own environment and can not drive because of it and due to seizures since I was in preschool. Well I am writing this today not to tell you my sobbing life story but sadly say that unless another miracle comes my way by way of a safe living home or help towards that immediately by February 10th then there will nolonger be writings from any of my children. Those authorities who believe they have better standing thought options then my own and the things I know and see and do each day for my children have decided amongst themselves to take my children unless I can get a safe living environment by the tenth so if there is any love, hope, support out here for Brie’s Page or Sarah’s page and have any faith or belief or hope in me that you may be able to help please let me know because other wise they’re pages will be closing as they have already temporarily taken my children due to situations of life of a mess life handed me out of my control I did nothing to do but have only been along trying to fix. If situation not fixed by the tenth I will loose my kids forever, I only have till the 10th or I will not get my kids back and all the kid and I have been doing will be coming down.  I’m sorry to inform everyone. But if there is any hope or help left please let me know. The bigger the better the more the best. I don’t want to loose my kids forever so I beg please to anyone who supports us.

 

 
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Posted by on January 31, 2016 in Poetry

 
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When someone or something so close to your heart is connected within you core of your spiritual soul and you love them with your whole being yet manipulation and Satan work within your connections to interrupt and conflict and twist in all obstacles and lie filled stories creating the creation of the stereotype the world hears story of instead of who you really are within your inner self ripping and taking that and all you ever lived for and worked for away from you raping you of life and freedom and who you once created yourself and knew of who you are leaving you within the dark deep crevices of hell to tear your own self down after building yourself so high raping you of everything you ever lived to be and become and live for and speak out to be the voice to others silently silencing your whole being in time in silence end and existence taking your entire story away in whole by force out of your control 

 
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Posted by on January 29, 2016 in Poetry

 
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And so he said….
  

Just because you think your not a worth doesn’t mean the rest of life doesn’t deserve you and doesn’t think your not worth it….these are the lies Satan wants you to believe his evil games he plays.
Every human is worth a tear or two or three it’s the ones closest to your heart and spirit That earn your tears for eternity

Gods love is love for eternity tears come from caring and loving someone close

 
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Posted by on January 22, 2016 in Poetry

 
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REMAIN AS YOU ARE: written by Jenny Palmer July 3, 2002Remain as you are; for you are not so far. 

Remain as one, in the Father and the Son.

Together with three to eternity.

Remain as one till the last has come.
Remain in the lord; for you have been called. 

Remain in him, who saves all from sin. 
Turn over your life and all in it.

To open a new door to your life for a better fit. 
Ask for strength to build a strong foundation, and the peace to put your mind at ease.
Put your faith in God, and he will be your rod.

 
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Posted by on January 22, 2016 in Poetry

 
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LOVE FOR A MAN: Written by Jenny Palmer August 29, 2002Love for a man 

Love for a man I can not hold. 

But what love I feel but yet can not touch.

Love that I seek but can not find.

The unseen and seen but nowhere near by.

To reach but not grasp

To ask the smallest of all small things yet given nothing and making it big.

To hear the words but not see the action is bigger than the grasp of that less taken.

What things we may know may never be found unless we pay attention to he who knows best. Yet even the best know not the road taken only the good that’s not forsaken. 

I know the true love is the one above yet another true love is the one I want to love. 

My heart yearns for love from that one man, the love for a man I have not yet seen.

Will we ever meet face to face and see something more than just what we see.

Will we grow as one as a flower in the sun.

In one body together forever no matter what the weather. 

May our Love grow strong for He and I.

Nothing less than the better best, 

nothing more than the farthest shore. 

Nothing so strong can get inside. Inside the soul where all the deep dwell.

May it be good it will be seen 

may it be bad it will be heard.

but the inner self is where it does creep. 

To never come out until the right time

till the day that love for that man will bring me to rest. 

To see that not yet known and feel that not yet touched.

to seek but not find.

To reach the unreachable

slipping by the smallest things and not yet coming to the bigger ones.

To hear the words from far and near but not understand the things in eyes view.

The love for a man I don’t yet know. 

The love for a man I can not hold.

Feeling the love that has not been touched.

Finding the love I no longer seek.

The one true love.
The one sacrifice.

The love of my life.

Jesus Christ.

 
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Posted by on January 22, 2016 in Poetry

 
 
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