The one that your deepest darkest areas of your life go to
Watching it happen with VIPs around you friends and families are one thing
But seeing it happen with the one closest to your heart is something totally different indeed
It shatters your insides makes you feel like you want to hide
Makes you want to just sleep and cry
You sometimes don’t even feel like you even know who you are inside
Then to remember and realize once again that you have to question if this may again be facing a final goodbye
All the fears you ever hid inside and bottled up or left to rot and die never did and all surface back up to the top again as if the devil is peeking in to say Hi
Every fear jar opened and stinking of stench again as the truth of the moment comes alive again
Death is never easy alone as it goes yet to go thru death or even a possibility yet again of it with the one closest to your heart
It stabs you like a dagger deep into the heart
Alone it’s not easy to face and never will be but then to smell it as if you were in a dungeon or taste the sailine or see the wear of aging taking that loved one before your eyes it’s even more scarier then ever once was before.
It leaves you standing face to face at deaths open door
Titanium I post this video to share with you tonight because this song is hitting home in my soul tonight as I know ya’ll have noticed I haven’t been posting as frequently currently. YES I am still sick with the bronchitis and still have the concussion from the assault, however I also have personal things I have not yet told anyone about yet as I have not known what or how to say them each and everyone in and out of my inner and outer realm of life are each their own very special to me I’d never want to hurt anyone. I thank all of you for being a part in my journey called life. In four days my daughter goes in for her most extensive blood procedure surgery she has ever had yet of all of the ones she already has had to go thru, also myself they have learned something is going on as well with me however not yet sure what the something is exactly. I know I am strong, I am titanium. Many a time I withstand all that rolls my direction. I’m sure I may again however I can’t ignore this. The other day I awoke in pain and when I went to the doctors they took some neck and shoulder X-rays looking for an injury, however finding no injury they did find “a something” below my clavicle and above my heart they believe where there should only be air and empty space in that area of your chest they found “a something” and are sending me out for further studies and scans to try to learn what it is. If you look closely, it looks like a medium water balloon yet doctors have no idea what it is. So granted to say I may be titanium and strong but I’m still scared and curious and worried about tomorrow in both events happening around me. And I am still human. Please keep me in thought and prayers.