Following into the new year
I sit here looking back into the face again of truth and despair
unanswered questions and hope currently not there
At almost forty my years should be settled and silent
yet still unsure what tomorrow will show my dreams unknown and my days unseen
I again feel the question coming to play of will marriage ever come find my way
Stuck inside seeing all the same walls
family neglect that will never release
handicaps which are visually unseen
a life that no one around me is able to see or believe
living in fear of what each corner will reveal
living a trap which I don’t ever see even releasing from wrapping around me
homeless and on the verge of loosing my own kids
for life which was given to me and not picked or chosen by actions I have made along my
own way
never knowing answers of what tomorrow shall bring
A deep feeling of abandonment and ignorance from family as if I never even existed
no on looking toward the future as hope lies slim
as I haven’t even seen a date with someone since I was twenty-one maybe at least
Not even a visit or someone to drop on in
each day my hopes dropping more slim in the sands
Will a day ever hold a marriage ahead
I see no pathways building the bridges to the future
not even much of even a friend
