I do believe in miracles. I’ve seen them each and everyday. However this feeling of insecurity is eating away inside of me. I don’t want to crush three little girls dreams and push them aside or away. Yet I don’t expect Christmas much or a new year fantasy to come to be as the situations around me have not changed any. I don’t feel all that fond of the sotuations of life going on forever around me these days. They don’t exactly leave open space for beauty to be seen aurrounding me. I do believe in miracles in each and every qay. However believe in a special Christmas or New Years miracle to find its way to me. I just feel low and insecure that that really could happen to me. I’m not expecting a dream in reality or one to pop about right in front me. However pulling thru I just may met me. I am not so sure that these girls will open their eyes or be happy tomorrow. Knowing that Santa came. I can’t provide and care for their each and everynight as other partents like me. To give them a home to come home to each and everyday, to call it safe and secure and lnow that it’s not gonna run away. To have fiends come to there house and know they can play and have fun and mom not so stressed trying to pull all together or Beth things done. Lord knows a miracle is what I need indeed. I do believe in miracles I see them happen everyday. I just don’t think a Christmas or New Years miracle is in store for me. So I go to bed tonight all cuddled and cozy snugged in, in hopes and prayers that when tommorrow comes something will be down under that tree making my three little girls happy even if I can’t provide a home like other children they see. However still wishing and praying maybe that there is a miracle for me.