Monthly Archives: December 2014

My Words To You

My words to you I still love by

a promise I would never leave

no matter what I suffer or

endure through teach day with you

it is still my promise given to you

I will go nowhere unless told by you

yor my world who I love and endure

no matter what I claim and fight this fight

not one night shall be my last night

your heart and soul have always been mine

until I’m told one I will remain

a shattering heart right now is what I will go thru

if it means life with you no matter what.

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Posted by on December 28, 2014 in Uncategorized


Broken Hearts And Sundays

Strangers And Poetry

She spoke

Of broken hearts

And Sundays,

Gloomy afternoons,

How no one

Really loved her,

It was her body

They yearned to tune,

She spoke

Of loneliness and sadness,

Wandering through

Her rooms,

How no one

Really loved her,

Neath the magic

Of the moon.

Stephen Nesbitt ©

From “Dockside”

9:00 AM December 28, 2014

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Posted by on December 28, 2014 in Uncategorized


I Do Believe In Miracles

I do believe in miracles. I’ve seen them each and everyday. However this feeling of insecurity is eating away inside of me. I don’t want to crush three little girls dreams and push them aside or away. Yet I don’t expect Christmas much or a new year fantasy to come to be as the situations around me have not changed any. I don’t feel all that fond of the sotuations of life going on forever around me these days. They don’t exactly leave open space for beauty to be seen aurrounding me. I do believe in miracles in each and every qay. However believe in a special Christmas or New Years miracle to find its way to me. I just feel low and insecure that that really could happen to me. I’m not expecting a dream in reality or one to pop about right in front me. However pulling thru I just may met me. I am not so sure that these girls will open their eyes or be happy tomorrow. Knowing that Santa came. I can’t provide and care for their each and everynight as other partents like me. To give them a  home to come home to each and everyday,  to call it safe and secure and lnow that it’s not gonna run away. To have fiends come to there house and know they can play and have fun and mom not so stressed trying to pull all together or Beth things done. Lord knows a miracle is what I need indeed. I do believe in miracles I see them happen everyday. I just don’t think a Christmas or New Years miracle is in store for me. So I go to bed tonight all cuddled and cozy snugged in, in hopes and prayers that when tommorrow comes something will be down under that tree making my three little girls happy even if I can’t provide a home like other children they see. However still wishing and praying maybe that there is a miracle for me.

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Posted by on December 25, 2014 in Uncategorized


Trust & Time

I open all my deep secrets up to you in trust that you are safe and will protect me. Though deep within fear still builds that you still may hurt or betray me. I’ve relyed on a years long friendship with you and have begun to hold many different  feelings within my heart for you. Yet the flames still come out real at times that I may one day feel and face some pain. I’m scared beyond belief. I know that I shouldn’t be. However this fear is there and real also I know history can repeat as well. I know that you may not always understand but this will take time. I know that you believe in me and think I am a strong women as do I. However that doesn’t quiet my fears. I am always open, honest and try with everyone especially you, but you just don’t understand. This will take trust and time to fully mend.

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Posted by on December 10, 2014 in Uncategorized


Pain Like A Knife

The pain like a knife tearing within. Tears falling yet an invisible drop.

Trust broken in half has become numb. I try to raise my head high hoping it’s just me hiding on the inside. A feeling of dispelief I can not shake. Forgiveness I have held close and then released. Trying to bring myself back to reality and set my self being free.

My dreams, my heart, all given to thee.

Tears streaming from faces of those around and not just me.

Myself needing time to feel release.

My love still strong

has not let go.

Healing heart and time is all I need.

pain like a knife is all I feel and see currently inside.

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Posted by on December 1, 2014 in Uncategorized

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