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Daily Archives: June 30, 2011

Yup…This Life Is Mine


Secluded in the house
With not one friend and not one place to go
My only life lives on here
Though people on here do not know what is real my picture is
I see my picture from this one tiny window
Peering out over the several trees forming this cells gate
This life being the only life I have ever seen and known
Living the only life I have known
A life I wish I did not see a life that is not me
A life I did not choose in life
But it is the life I was given
This life is mine
Yup…
This life is mine
This life is mine

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Posted by on June 30, 2011 in Love, Uncategorized

 

Why Am I To Blame


I look around me at the world I live
Living here in a place of innocence or is it
Yea so you may be innocent
But is innocent even really good
The more I think about this innocence
The more I see suffering and outcast surrounding me making my own life feel like shame
I lived my life all alone and held my dreams within my heart and soul
But living my life everyday afraid of tomorrow because of how you treat me
Why am I to blame
What have I done to show you shame
I have only tried to live my life for my best
Not doing drugs
Not drinking
Why am I so dissatisfied with you
Why am I to blame
What have I done to show you shame

 
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Posted by on June 30, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

Nowhere To Live


I have always been told that I live in a world of pure peace because I am always so calm and bliss
Right now I feel that I am living my life in pure fear and evil
I am afraid to even open my Windows and let the sunlight shine in
I am afraid to take that quick peek outside
I am afraid to look someone in the eye
My life has taken a large crumble and I don’t want to see where the crumbs will land
I want to hold my eyes forever shut and stay deep inside myself and cry
I can not take the abuse anymore
Living in silence with no one around
Living on the streets with not one safe place
Fearing that my kids are going to be taken from me when I am doing all that I can to try to keep us safe
Unsure of my ways hard for me to trust
Leaning on Gods arms to carry me on
Leaning on the one true man I have in my life to hold me strong giving me hope that I have to believe in.
Everything I have ever believed in before now being washed right down the drains
My heart sinking into my chest
My hands trembling at the pursuit of this future ending
My life being torn from beneath my feet
My feet holding weak beneath my weight
The pain burning and everlasting strong fire within my chest burning its own hole in my gut eating it away
Living under the eye of the dark eye of the villon I see
As I become its victim tonight
What’s to live for in life if all that you ever work so hard for gets taken from your side and you are repeatedly told lies
You yourself becoming the criminal in disguise
What do we do to save ourselves to rebuild our hopes
Our dreams that we have held on to for so long
No one can spell out or lives for us but what can we do to spell it out ourselves when you have become lost and overwhelmed on this path of disparities
I know running and hiding is not the answer but I know nothing more to do
Just spending a night in a hotel is luxury to me
Spending everyday having my very own kids asking me
“mommy, are we gonna live in a hotel tonight”
When everyday living in fear not knowing where we will end up tomorrow here or there
Not one place safe for us
Even sometimes living on the streets
This life is not for me
I just want to learn how to break free
With a handicap I did not request
and a job I can not get
No matter how many times and how hard I may try
All I want to do is cry
So burned out and torn down my biggest foundation holding me tight the love for my kids who mean the world to me
Without them I would be nothing more
Are you listening outside my door
Do you hear my cry
Listen! Are you there?
Please help…please pray!
I have runway within the depths of myself
With nowhere to live but within myself
It is like an ongoing dream that I have not woken up from
Here I am with nowhere to live

 
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Posted by on June 30, 2011 in Dreams, Love, Uncategorized

 
 
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