I am not good enough in your eyes unless I were a guy or one of your sons. Sorry dad I was created a women not a man and that is something that I will never be. You could offer me tons of money for me to be one however I am just the way my true father in heaven created me and I am accepted by I just wish my real earthly father would accept me and love me as well. Though that I believe I will never see. I wish that I could understand why you hate me? You always have to talk lies on me and talk bad on me. My father in heaven who loves me and accepts me just as me. He would never talk lies on me or talk shit…..but ever since I was born you have never loved me right. He has since before I was born. You have turned nothing but to your evil side since mom died I hope that your heart comes true again. For only then may you really ever see mom again. Mom would not like who you have become….I don’t like this road I now travel on. Help what if you die….what is left of me….but you won’t help me get help or help me get protected in agencies like she would’ve with me. Instead I am just forgotten and left for shame to all who are in your fame. Been pushed as a shunned of our family name is how you have made me. Only being my cart and taxi and not being a grandfather or father doing things with us as family’s would’ve in reality. Only caring about those who mean something to you or show vision you can see….not failures, females and handicaps like me. That is all I am…a hindrance to you. A put down. A failure and a shamed burden on you. Well I am sorry that that OS what God chose for you. Though I am not sorry that this is how he made me. For as a women and a survivor this is who he made and everyday I grow stronger with each steps that I take. I just wish that you saw more meaning to me and had hope and believed. I can not force and make you see what things he wants to revel to you. Though I can stay strong and hope that soon in time what it is he wants you to see you will. Things were much easier with mom around. But I have never stressed on giving up hope. Instead I have prayed that only one day you will again see and follow his light.