Is It Me

Why must I feel like everyone hates me or is working against me

why does my brain think this is okay

why does my heart talk to me and make me feel this way

why does depression take hold so well, never rarely letting go

why does it screw me up so wild the way it does so

making me feel so empty and attacked like they are all coming in to feast that last bite

why do I push them away so bad trying to keep them and hold them tight

why do I feel they hate me so

is it me

do I do it when I feel it too

I don’t want or like feeling this way

I don’t want the emptiness that only I can see

I don’t want the hatred I feel portrayed

I don’t want the anger of the pain i feel

I want to trust better and better draw near

I don’t want to shun or push away in fear

is it me

is it me

Oh God with thee I plead

help me draw nearer to thee

help me

help me to save what life I have left

help me to save that which was saved

help me save me like you had before by giving me eternity

help me save me so I can be me

Oh wait…. I am me so that just won’t do

help me save me and better me being like the way that you formed me to

help me

 help me

is it me

would life be better if I left people alone

would they really understand if I just vanished and disapeared

would they care

Help me close this path of depression  and my post traumatic stress I percieve

rid of it from me and heal me inside

it’s engulphing me and my life and I am running out of places to hide

This is not really what I want anyway

so why do I spend much of my time here within

help me to heal and be happy again

Help me be me like you who I see

help me be the me they are looking to see

help me to live in equility not die within my life where no one really sees the real me

sigh

this is the me I know but I want the real me like they do too

help me please

 help me now

is it me

is it me

this answer I can not see