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Daily Archives: February 4, 2011

Honesty


They say lying gets you nowhere

Honesty is the best way

how can this be when truths are told and only lead to hurt and despair

so how does honesty work yet never

this answer I would love to learn

I want not to be hurt as I want not to hurt anyone like him or anyone else as well

Though each time I am honest in any issue with anyone

 this is exactly what it seems to go thru and exactly all I see

So how does one follow thru with what things she feels are right if they always seem so wrong with them

I am crying inside and dying in heart of life my feelings and honesty are not things I can hide

I nolonger even have tears to cry or emotions to follow inside myself

I have begun to quietly shut down and hide

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3 Comments

Posted by on February 4, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

Is It Me


Why must I feel like everyone hates me or is working against me

why does my brain think this is okay

why does my heart talk to me and make me feel this way

why does depression take hold so well, never rarely letting go

why does it screw me up so wild the way it does so

making me feel so empty and attacked like they are all coming in to feast that last bite

why do I push them away so bad trying to keep them and hold them tight

why do I feel they hate me so

is it me

do I do it when I feel it too

I don’t want or like feeling this way

I don’t want the emptiness that only I can see

I don’t want the hatred I feel portrayed

I don’t want the anger of the pain i feel

I want to trust better and better draw near

I don’t want to shun or push away in fear

is it me

is it me

Oh God with thee I plead

help me draw nearer to thee

help me

help me to save what life I have left

help me to save that which was saved

help me save me like you had before by giving me eternity

help me save me so I can be me

Oh wait…. I am me so that just won’t do

help me save me and better me being like the way that you formed me to

help me

 help me

is it me

would life be better if I left people alone

would they really understand if I just vanished and disapeared

would they care

Help me close this path of depression  and my post traumatic stress I percieve

rid of it from me and heal me inside

it’s engulphing me and my life and I am running out of places to hide

This is not really what I want anyway

so why do I spend much of my time here within

help me to heal and be happy again

Help me be me like you who I see

help me be the me they are looking to see

help me to live in equility not die within my life where no one really sees the real me

sigh

this is the me I know but I want the real me like they do too

help me please

 help me now

is it me

is it me

this answer I can not see

 
1 Comment

Posted by on February 4, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

Truth


Is it of me that he speaketh

I want to know what he sees

why do they always hide what they really know and see not sharing it with thee

Why can’t i know and see what others see in me

why can i never know the truth people see

i only know what i hear and have shared

but there is more to the picture of inner truths which is of that i have not been told

If I were dying would someone share it with me

I don’t trust so as there is so much more hidden I have seen already

If I were dying would anyone but he really care

Not too sure but again I don’t think they’d even notice if I just walked out that silent door

Who’d care

would they you sure

lets not find out … please

don’t go there once more

your running and hiding just like you talk not

how can you say when your not facing up to your own very fear

What door haven’t I opened

help me look there then

I don’t know how or i’d do it again to keep practicing then

guide me

show me

help me understand

give me a focus point and help me live again

help me see what you see

from within your eyes

there are thing that are hidden that I would like to bind as my own also

Show me

show me again

help me to define

define this focus of the underline that was to be left to hide

help me to focus better seeing full scale

all that you see…

help me save me love

help me save me

 
1 Comment

Posted by on February 4, 2011 in Uncategorized

 
 
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