At age of thirty three a women should be happy and free. She shoulod have a life all her own not relying on the ones at home. She should be out on her own doing what it is that makes her happiness shine the best. Enjoying her life and settled down in a nice safe place. Not homeless or stuck in transitions of life. Not a mother without a man in her life. Life is not fair at times you see, but this is true I am thirty-three and a mother of three unexpectadly. However I have accepted this. I still wish that life was more happier and pretty. I am raising my three girls alone not the way it should be, however right now in life that is how it will be. I wish for the day that marriage will approach me, and await the day that I will be a happy family. My love comes from inside and shines out as best can for the kids in my life. Yet behide the closed doors I hide and cry out inside. Life is complicated right now with a kinda dead beat father of three, and with a guy who truly loves me and would do anything for me I see. My life is like a rollercoaster yet, for none around to help me to stand high and stay ahead. Calling me psyco and drama instead. I hide within myself to cover my face. With a father of the three denying one and all. Yet I knowing the truth behind them all. Another man outstepping his very own limits would walk every path just to accept all of us as his own and would love to give us a home. Although in my heart my soul is deep and and sad. Crying out loud is what I know best and right now my inner soul needs a rest. Your heart and soul knowing how you love him but life making you feel like you are drowning instead. To suffer like this I bare to noone. I pray that you will not be stuck in this path ever in any day. My love goes deep but mind washes it all away. Then gems like stars shimmer n shine in the way when I see this guys beauty inside. For now it just the three girls and myself, putting life up high on the shelf to look at and see right now and approach life from a new slate for today. I wish sometimes it were just me looking into a picture i had, that I would not see all the evil and bad that we had. I could shut the door and walk on ahead but from here life right now does not look good out this door.